I am so fortunate. Is it fortune? I live a life of great abundance. I wonder, what is the most accurate word to describe my freedoms? It may be 'lucky'; surely my life has been a story of serendipity and chance, but that is not the whole story. Perhaps the word is 'blessed'; my life has been made sacred, endowed with many beautiful lessons and experiences. To have been born into my family, in this time and place, has given me the space to grow unencumbered by any oppression. I will have to think a bit more about how best to describe this richness I feel when I take stock of my existence, and what it means.
This may seem a mundane and possibly dull way to spend my time, reflecting upon the perfect moniker for my treasured existence. Indeed, it is ironic to spend any time at all fixated on the difficulty of this task when it hopes to clarify (only in words) the beautiful feeling I get when I am awake, present and tuned into those riches all around me: My kids, my husband, my writing, my mind, my home, my extended family, my friends, my neighbourhood, my country, my awakening, my insatiable, curiosity, my quests (big and small), my health.
We finished our morning activities and asked each other, "what do we most want to do?" Naturally, the girls each wanted to first disagree with each other's ideas and promote her own as best. We decided on a walk on Petrie Island, because the weather was nice, and we hadn't been for a while. We walked in the sunshine, noticing frogs and turtles below us, geese and airplanes above us, and a dancing melee of trees and plants all around us. These eyes and minds that notice, these make us so rich.
When a girl tripped or fell (growing, clumsy girls seem pulled to earth by a special sort of gravity), hugs were given freely, from us parents or other sisters. A quick kiss, a pat on the bum and off she went to discover what the next best tree to climb. These tender hearts, these appetites for exploration, these make our lives abundant.
Maybe it is par for the course of being 30 years old, reflective and contemplative as I navigate these years as a young mama, wife and wordsmith. Maybe I'll forget this train of thought tomorrow. Maybe I'll finally find the word, and recognize it immediately, like when I chance upon the exact right snack to satiate my hunger. In the meantime, I will finish this day in stillness with mouth curled up slightly at the corners, reviewing the bounty of blessings that form the whole of my days.