Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Milestones

Much is written and discussed about turning 30. In a quick Pinterest search, turning 30 is accompanied with anxiety: Things to do before 30, places to travel before it's too late, signs you know you are lame and 30. In these last few years of my 20s, I felt no anxiety approaching this day. Should I have? I don't relate to this apprehension that 30 is a deadline. I know a big part of that is having established a family as a married woman and mama to four girls, and so there are no biological or socially-imposed deadlines over which to worry. I accomplished a lot in my 20s, but those accomplishments don't leave me feeling the best year are behind me.

Age 20

I am more inclined to look ahead. I have some amazing women in my life and you know what? The ones to whom I most relate and look to for inspiration are in their 30s already. They have dropped the act, the pretense, the anxiety. They have shown me that there is a lot I do not know, and I eagerly lap up their shared wisdom. There is something slightly glamorous, mysterious and intriguing to me about these women, and I am very much looking forward to being taken into the fold.

I am not denying that turning 30 is a milestone, and I will review what my 20s have meant and included. Tonight, though, I am turning my gaze upwards and ahead. I am brimming with anticipation for what's yet to come, because it is a big mystery. I don't have any immediate goals or visions. I am feeling very much like a clean slate, ready for what's next. I am shedding the need to reach expectations (from myself and others) and instead opening myself up to what may be possible if I just listen, follow my curiosity, and trust. That a new decade begins today is infinitely wondrous to me.

In this understanding, I am excited for all of my future milestone birthdays. I am excited to be a woman of 30 today, entering a new stage of life beyond dating, having babies and going to school. I am excited to turn 40 and 50 and, one day, 60, because the women I see who have reached those ages are exponentially more self-assured, wise and confident. I am now a key demographic for advertisers selling wrinkle cream, Botox treatments and maintaining a youthful physique. The years I spent in front of a mirror in my 20s are enough to last a lifetime, so instead of continuing that, I'm exploring a different kind of reflection.

I am ready, here I am, age 30. Go!

Age 30


6 comments:

  1. Ok, crazy hormone lady over here... all teary eyed and your beautiful post.
    This ----> "I am shedding the need to reach expectations (from myself and others) and instead opening myself up to what may be possible if I just listen, follow my curiosity, and trust." YES, this is what 30 (and beyond) is all about. A sense of not needing to be or do what others think of you.
    You are such a wonderful, beautiful, kind, intelligent, giving, creative soul.... and I am so honoured to know you and have you in my life.
    Love you. Happy birthday dear friend.

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    Replies
    1. Love you Jojo. You're one of the women to whom I was referring :)

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  2. 30, flirty and thriving! Happy birthday!!

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  3. Happy Birthday!!! Welcome to a brand new decade!!!

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