Sunday, June 16, 2013

In Flux

Things have been quiet in my writing space; it has been a hectic week that has left a deafening noise between my ears. I am overwhelmed with to-dos, worries, reminders, and fears.

Flying home on a one-way ticket was exciting, and I was so happy to drive around town, making a mental effort to regain ownership of landmarks and locales as "mine." I have been so happy to think of raising my girls amid my own history and geography. I am excited for the connection they will get to forge with their grandparents without the expiration date of a return ticket. I am happy to celebrate summer in warm weather, under thunderstorming skies, in backyard pools and at barbecues with friends. Rich and I have looked at each other more than a few times and remarked how right this all feels.

Aside from our happiness at being home again, we have experienced some adult-level stress, heartbreak and worry. I feel a little uncomfortable getting into the nitty-gritty, and to be honest, I'm tired of rehashing it all.

I am constantly being reminded, by both my husband and the rolling-stretching-kicking mass in my abdomen, that everything I am feeling is heightened by hormones. I am sensitive. And starting Wednesday, Rich will be returning to the Yukon and I will be here with my three girls, living with my family in the interim. I know I will feel a lot more at peace when Rich returns to us.

If you're into channeling good vibes, we could use some. Being in a state of flux, without my husband, while very pregnant, is not ideal. Like anything, we are conscious of the many blessings bestowed on us and hold onto each other (and good food!) to get through rough patches.
Sitting on the front porch of the house in which I was raised

3 comments:

  1. Positive thoughts and vibes coming your way Sarah! Everything will work out! I'm excited for our walk on Wednesday. The weather is going to be beautiful :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love to you. Strength to you. Patience and peace to you. xox

    ReplyDelete

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