Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Intentions

"Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch."
-- E.B. White, Charlotte's Web

Now is not the time for sweeping, declarative statements nor for making big life decisions. I am up, and down, weepy and sentimental. I want to keep each member of my family right beside me eating delicious pizza, watching heartwarming movies every day, and then I want to go out and create art on my own while discovering the south of France. See? I'm all over the place, and really can't be trusted to stick to anything I might swear.

I do know this: I am a woman floating above the earth. My head and my heart in the clouds, I am euphorically aware of my temporary goddess status, incubating life. Cloud nine, as they say.

Flighty and spaced-out as I may be (baby brain is very real), I am living with some set intentions. I am, suffice it to say, thoroughly enjoying my days at home with my three girls, but they come with new challenges: I am slow-moving, I need to stop and eat often, I am unable to chase down the fast-moving minions I created. When I feel frazzled I remind myself of my intentions and re-centre.

- Let's eat. Food makes us feel better. It distracts the babies from the confusing new world of frustration, it nourishes growing bodies (of all shapes and sizes!) and brings us together. We eat homemade, good food together and all is well.
- They need me most when they act the worst. It might not make sense, the way they behave, but when the tears are going, limbs are flailing and tempers run hot, a mama cuddle can move mountains.
- All we need is love. We don't accomplish much some days, and we don't always make it out of the house, but in lieu of crossing items of to-do lists is a feeling of comfort. That is love. Simple stuff, lots of hugs, reading moods and reacting accordingly. Love is what these girls and that husband of mine need most and I have lots to give.

I wait. I wait for this baby, for my belly to grow huge, for my water to break and my family to grow. In the meantime, I am loving my days spent with my favourite people.




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