Friday, April 5, 2013

Guilt trips and longer journeys

It may not surprise you, but there are sometimes moments in the day when I catch myself thinking, "oh, this is so cute! I should blog about it!" or "They look so picturesque, I should grab my camera!" Often, I am immediately embarrassed to think this way, feeling perhaps vanity or appearances are getting the better of me. But upon further introspection, I give myself more credit. This space, (though you are reading it), is a time capsule for me. It is the here and now that will one day be my memories. It is an offering to my family, an ongoing letter where I can record my thoughts and feelings in real time and return to them later. 


It is also helping me to stop and recognize a moment's purity and inherent joy. When I stop in my tracks and muse, "I should write about this," it means it is memorable, cute, noteworthy to me and worthy of capturing. On quiet evenings, I enjoy looking back at past posts: a map to where I've been and on what I've focused my energy. I hope one day to share it with my girls, presented as an ode to my undying love for them all. I know that sounds romantic, but it keeps me here, writing.

These three little faces are filled with the teensiest of details that won't be there next month. Fat cheeks, hair lines, tooth arrangement, smile nuances-- they all shift away from the baby faces I once cuddled, morphing into the girls, the women, they will become. I know I won't remember every haircut or favourite T-shirt, and maybe it's not important that I do. But because I have these words at my disposal, I hope to remember the feelings. I am growing, and how else will I measure said growth than by looking back at where I began? Where I stopped and stumbled? Where I took leaps and bounds forward?

So I pledge today not to give myself any
more grief for thinking of moments as bloggable, or activities as Pinterest-worthy, because assembled in one memory box (or domain name, as the case may be) they form the adventure I'm on. Even if these girls never grow curious what I wrote April 5, 2013, they may love that when assembled together, our adventures, my feelings and our days make one amazing family love story.




2 comments:

  1. wow, this is exactly what I've been feeling the last few days in regards to blogging about the kiddos. Not necessarily interesting to others, but so important for me (and the kids someday) to have to look back on. I spent an hour today going through some of my old posts (and pictures) and I am so thankful that I have them.

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  2. Hurray! I blog about everything. I am happy and proud of my family and I want to be able to look back at it all when I am old and smile. I need to get back to printing my blog out year by year too. I did a couple of years and then it got put on the back burner.

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