More than this pregnancy, I am really awakening to this whole approach to life whereby I relinquish my control. It's incredibly freeing, makes way for me to really appreciate the now and the beauty of the smallest, most hidden of treasures.
|Treasures like tulips in my kitchen while there is still four feet of snow on my front lawn.|
I can't plan when babies come into our lives, despite my best efforts so far. I have tried really hard to make one happen and stay and I've tried as best as I knew to avoid one coming before I felt ready. In both scenarios I have been humbled by giving in to a force bigger than myself and understanding that this isn't my show to run.
Maya Angelou wrote a phrase I love (in fact, it is the title of one of her books). She says, "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now." It's the 'now' part that speaks to me. The reflection that comes afterwards when I begin to see that, "Ahhh, that makes more sense-- now."
It is incredibly liberating to feel as though I don't have to know it all, have control over it all, or have it all figured out. What kind of life falls perfectly into plan? A boring one, I'd wager. Because I've made the best memories and felt the most growth inside me during the times when the universe seemed to be saying, "Listen up Sarah, and start picking up what I'm putting down."
So, I'm listening. I'm planning an afternoon walk in the sun and a pot of cheese tortellini and broccoli for dinner but in the spaces between, I am completely open to what might happen. That is just such a fascinating and exciting way to see things.
|The more I quietly watch Skylar, the more I realize what a Zen master she is.|