I think it is typical for every pregnant woman to have these moments of, "Holy moly, a BABY is coming?!" I think they're invigorating and thrilling. Sometimes I even crave them, like when a couple of days have passed without me even really reflecting on the baby growing in me. I need a fix of "what?! A baby?" and then I feel excited all over again. It's one thing to pause and rub my belly, smiling a Mona Lisa smile at the secret flips and rolls only I can feel. It's another to hold something tangible.
When I was in Vancouver, I picked up a sweet little summertime baby outfit and once in a while I pick it up, hold it out, fold it up again, smell it with my face pressed right into it, and replace it in its rightful spot on my dresser. A real live baby will one day fill this outfit and that thought is so exciting and mind-blowing, even with baby #4.
We have our halfway-through ultrasound next week, and I am so excited to see him or her swimming around. The whole gang is coming along with us, and I hope that means it will be a nice bonding experience for everyone, and not a rapid deterioration of behaviour levels. (We'll bring lots of snacks in case!) I am excited to see it move in real time, see its feet, its hands, its big ole head. My baby.
|This rocker sits in the twins' nursery, and is where I have rocked and nursed each of my babies to sleep. |
It holds such fond memories and I can't wait to have another wispy-breathed bundle to cuddle!
Instead of "What to Expect" books, or modern "how to" guides to avoiding stretch marks (ha!) and sore backs (double ha!), I have been reading the books my mom read when pregnant with me. (Penelope Leach's Your Baby and Child, Geraldine Flanagan's The First Nine Months, and Lareina Rule's Name Your Baby.) The books are sometimes outdated and funny, like when they suggest gently reducing cigarettes and alcohol, and making sure not to hit a kid directly over the ears when punishing them, lest your rupture ear drums. They are so comforting and peaceful. They are gentle reads. It is so calming to read what my own mom did, knowing now what a comforting and safe presence she holds in my life.
I hope you enjoy your weekend. We'll be laying low and enjoying the longer hours of sunlight before that dreaded "spring forward" hits us all.
Also, I'll be hawking issues of Yukon, North of Ordinary in a shameless tour of self-promotion: yours truly is featured as a contributing writer for a feature on jazz singer/lady/mama extraordinaire Fawn Fritzen! Excitement!