Monday, February 18, 2013

A very important birthday




Today was a powerful reminder for me, of many important things. I spent some time going through pictures, letters and writings I did from this day last year when Hailey and Robin arrived. I was reminded of how grateful I was, how joyful I felt and how amazing they are. I needed that. I needed to go back to that simple place where I focused on what was right in front of me, what had arrived after much waiting and a long journey. That feeling of arrival and that moment of growth where I transitioned from Sarah of February 16, 2012 to Sarah, mother of her twin miracle babies. 

I was reminded of what started growing in me, a patience with myself, my family and my journey as it unfolds. I sometimes forget to keep cultivating it, and today was a good way to stop and remember what it is all for. Two little girls who snuggled into my heart and warmed me from the moment they looked up at me with big blue eyes.

Today I stopped to remember what is and is not within my control. To remember that there are always three little girls who watch me for my reaction when things don't go as planned, who watch to see me model behaviour for them in their own moments of frustration. I hope today they saw honesty, the power of hugs, and the effort to take a deep breath as good anecdotes to anything.

We celebrated Robin and Hailey's first birthday today but bigger than that, we celebrated what we've accomplished as a family this past year. We toasted champagne glasses full of sparkling grape juice to each other, to how far we've come. 

I held Rich and thanked him for being the one to make it through this last year with me, through every two hour feedings, through uncertainty, through exhaustion and a messy house and eating meals from the freezer and bottles and pumping and a surprise pregnancy and job stress and moments when every girl in the house is crying. He is formidable.

I nuzzled my nose into Hailey and Robin's heads, right behind their ears, and kissed them on their chubby cheeks. I held them and danced with them and wiped their tears today. I kissed their big bellies and praised them for standing up on their own, because it makes them smile so big to feel proud of themselves. They are such amazing little girls and I hope they know how much their family loves them. 
We have officially made it through their first year and, stepping over the threshold to the other side, I know we've got this. I know that we can take what we've learned this year and use it to celebrate the great times and work through the tough times. We are blessed and oh, do we know it.

3 comments:

  1. The twins are so cute! Happy Birthday to them!

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  2. Happy birthday to the twins! Any update as to how much was raised for the food bank? Inquiring minds want to know! :)

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    Replies
    1. I haven't at all forgotten, and was planning to do a separate post on everyone's generosity. I dropped off our physical donations today and the director said he'd give me a call with the online donation final tally in a day or two! But everyone was more than generous and very kind.

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