Friday, January 11, 2013

Divine Intervention

My first thought was of the twins. They are my miracle babies, the ones we worked so hard to bring into this world. Will I be taking something from them? Will their babyhood be unfairly cut short?
My next thoughts were more selfish.
"This isn't when I wanted this to happen. I'm not ready. We're not ready."
That's the inherent journey of pregnancy, though, isn't it? Each woman gets approximately nine months to ready herself and her home for the new little life on its way.

Suffice it to say, I was very surprised to see this second pink line ink its way onto the test sheet. I figured I was feeling off because of the darkness outside messing with my circadian rhythm or something. Or maybe, I thought, I had remembered the dates wrong. Besides, we'd been using birth control, I was planning to go back on the Pill after I weaned the babies-- pregnancy wasn't in the cards.  But one November day, I returned to the upstairs bathroom after preparing lunch for the girls (my three girls!) and saw the undeniable confirmation that I was carrying another little life in me.
This news continued to surprise our family and friends, but has largely been met with smiles, hugs and hearty congratulations. I have had two ultrasounds so far (one was routine, the other diagnostic after we had a big scare at Christmas. Thankfully, all is well!) and I am in love. The last I saw this little cutie was at eight weeks and I thought it looked a lot like a gummy bear, actually.
I have begun to feel it twitch and move in my growing belly. It is getting harder to keep this little secret under wraps!

I knew from the moment I found out that preparing our family would require some logistical re-workings, but never did I doubt that there was enough love. Rich was ecstatic from the beginning, and I can already feel just how snugly this little bundle is nestling into my heart. We have told Abby, who is excited to watch my belly grow again. And the babies? Well, they will have had a year and a half to practice being little sisters before they get to be big sisters. (I am due in July-- a summer baby!)
We don't yet know when or where or if we are moving this year (that decision rests with Rich's work) and that overwhelmed me, so now I am making a concerted effort to take things one day at a time. I have boobs and love: what else does a newborn need to survive? We can do this, we will rock this and if ever I thought I had the lead in my life's direction, I am reminded that there are certainly larger forces at work here. This is some major divine intervention.
For those interested in knowing, we will not be finding out this baby's gender until the birth day. I can't wait for that surprise! I have been craving tzatziki and caesar salad like crazy, and have been completely averse to anything sweet. (It was so unfair to be surrounded by holiday baking and have no interest in savouring it!). I have been feeling a little seasick, and have been able to catch catnaps here and there while the other kiddos sleep in the afternoons.
I haven't been too moody (Rich may disagree), but I have felt myself get quite short and cold when people compare us to the Duggars (four is NOT the same as 19, people) or when people complain about how much stuff they have and what an inconvenience that is (that was only really tough around Christmas).  There was also the one lady at a Christmas party who met my twins and told me she had two kids 18 months apart and that is "pretty much the same as having twins." I gave her such a death look, that poor lady quickly excused herself and found some Bailey's!
So, there you have it, our big secret is out. Now onwards with enjoying my last ever pregnancy (I'm making sure of it this time!), taking it slow, eating well and nurturing my three little ladies and husband as we all ready ourselves to welcome a fourth baby to our family!


  1. Yipppeeee!!!

    *fingers and toes crossed for a boy* Cause ya know... I am a bit biased towards boys. :)

  2. I'm so excited for you and your family Sarah!!! Congratulations :)

  3. this really is amazing news, and I am so happy for you and Rich and the girls. My fingers are crossed your news is met with kindness and a good move through work (as much as we would selfishly like to see another baby born here).

  4. HURRAY!! CONGRATULATIONS!! What a fabulous little blessing! :) You are a wonderful mother, and this one will be just as blessed/loved/cherished/happy!!! :)

  5. Thank you everyone, it makes me feel so warm to see/hear everyone's positive, loving comments.

  6. Congratulations Sarah! I've been following your blog for a while now (since we were both TTC after m/c on WB :) ), but I've never left a comment. Couldn't pass this one up! Very happy for your little family!

  7. Congrats Sarah!! What a wonderful surprise :o)

  8. I just had to go back and read this, and Summer's birth story - Happy day Summer!! (and thank you for the lovely Monday morning-I don't want to start my work, so I'll pretend work from cubicle-reads!)

  9. Good post. This is a very nice blog that i will definitively come back to more times this year. Thanks for informative post.cubicles in ft lauderdale


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