Thursday, August 9, 2012

Right About Now...

... There's something that makes me want to shout out, "the funk soul brother!" Sorry, musical tangent.
This week, I've been asking myself those twentysomething existential life questions like, "who do I want to be?", and "How do I want to use my time?" It's been fun, actually, because my answers are uplifting. It's rejuvenating to set goals and to do things that make me feel like I'm actively contributing to "that person" I want to be. For instance:
- I've set a budget that should carry us through until Christmas with funds set aside to cover duct cleaning, winter tires and rims for the van, hockey registration, preschool registration, fifth anniversary gifts and Christmas.
- All year I've been setting aside a bit of money each month in a separate Christmas bank account to cover our trip home and gifts for our family and a few close friends. Last year, I found myself panicked when winter heating bills, Christmas bills and the surprise expense of a van purchase came at me. I feel much more fiscally prepared, and that gives me solace.
- Taking 10 minutes every afternoon before Abby gets up from her nap to set out a small art project for her to do at her little table in the kitchen while I make dinner. Sometimes it's just a blank paper and markers, sometimes it's a bit more involved. I feel much better giving her something fun to do, rather than shirking her off of my right leg while she whines and I stir pots on the stove and we all get cranky.
- Getting down on the floor with the babies. They are growing so fast, I am unprepared for their infancy to wane. I am enjoying getting down with them and watching them gum teething toys and rattles, singing little songs and honking out funny noises.
- Biting my tongue. Not in a "bottling in my feelings" way, but learning more about when to zip it wit Rich, when to stop short before getting the last word in or being right. Being with him every day for going on six months is a lot of time for any two people to share. We totally appreciate each other's company most of the time as we navigate the beginning of the babies' lives, but once in awhile, we start to rub each other the wrong way. Sometimes silence is golden.
 These are the ways I feel like I'm growing into the me I want to be. Right about now on this cloudy Thursday morning, I feel lighter than air (and the cloud cover), as I cuddle Abby on my left, Skylar on my right. The babies are taking their morning nap and I am going to do a bit of writing, because that's what Sarah, reinvented, would do with her spare time. Happy Thursday!

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