Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mother's Day Eve

Today, mama was out for the count. I spent last night hurling my guts out, pumping milk for the babies, alternating between feeling hot and cold, and wondering what would happen when the sun came up and my family needed me again. I felt helpless, on top of nauseated. I knew Rich could handle breakfast, but I already felt bad Abby would miss her last dance class with me being asleep and Rich being overwhelmed with caring for the three of them. When Rich explained she couldn't go because mama was sick, she didn't throw a fit. She felt empathy, and tried to help me feel better.
She cuddled me so much today and maybe it's because I'm tired and calorie-deprived, maybe it's because tomorrow is Mother's Day, but I'm feeling weepy tonight. My three girls are more than I could have ever asked for. Nothing makes me feel more bliss or comfort than cuddling any or all of them. Abby was so good to me, taking care of me, offering to get my water, climbing up for gentle hugs. She's going to make a wonderful big sister and one day, maybe a mother.
I made it through the day and now I'm slurping broth to get my strength back up. My babies need my milk, and my family needs the mama to be back in action to take care of things like cat hairball cleanup and wiping down the kitchen table after lunch. (Rich was sad to discover today that it was me and not a cleaning fairy who usually attends to these things). I will feel better when I know I am back to being their mama.
It is me who is thankful tonight. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, but I am so grateful for my three little gifts. They make me feel a love so deep, guttural and pure that no prose adequately describes it. My life is already complete because I know this love and exchange it with them every day. There is much work left for me to do in their lives as their mama, but if God forbid something were to take me away tomorrow, I would know that mama love filled my heart every day since January 30, 2009, the day I became a mother.
Seeing my three girls together for the first time.
Thank you Abby, Hailey and Robin. You make my heart sing every morning and leave it overflowing with love every night.


  1. ahhhhh, only you could find the bright light in a night of stomach sickness.

  2. Ohh you poor thing! I hope you are feeling better tomorrow.

    Love the part about the cleaning fairy! hehehe


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