Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Ear to ear

You know that feeling you used to get as a kid, lying in bed, the night before your birthday, or Christmas, and your stomach was practically in knots with excitement? When it almost hurt to smile as big as you wanted to, because that's how happy you were? Or how about when you open a gift and it's so thoughtful and sweet you have no words to describe how touched you are, so you smile back at the gift-giver with tears in your eyes?
That's getting close to how I felt this morning. After years of waiting, wondering, wishing, I had a moment I didn't even know I was waiting for.
Hailey had gone back to bed after a morning snack, diaper change and floor play, but Robin wasn't ready to sleep yet. So we cuddled. We rocked in my rocking chair, her nestled right in the crook of my left arm (a spot that she fits into so perfectly), just being together.
I looked into her big, blue eyes, pools of infantile wisdom and she looked back into mine. She recognized me as her mama, her vessel. Unblinking, her fat little face broke out into the widest of grins. Eyes squished narrow, cheekbones raised. Over and over again she looked at me, her mama, and couldn't help but smile.
Robin's smile

I could have stayed there with her all day and would have if breakfast didn't need making for my oldest hungry girl in the next bedroom over. But that smile, oh that smile.
The twins have smiled for me every day the last few weeks, starting every morning whenI see their toothless froggy grins. But this morning's smile from Robin was just borne into my soul and has been etched into my heart forever. It was that poetic and pure and wonderful. Ah, motherhood.


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