Saturday, October 29, 2011

Promises and suprises

I surprised myself greatly today. Nothing about its beginning started off out of the ordinary. I woke up first, to little baby kicks, and got breakfast ready with Abby. We ate second breakfast (snack for everyone else), painted, made muffins and got dressed.
Then I wanted to start the nursery. Today.
We got to work re-arranging Abby's bedroom first, to fit in a new reading chair from the nursery catch-all room. The scene was: stuffed animals and blankets thrown around the floor, naked Abby jumping in the piles, me in the doorway pointing my finger and Rich moving big, heavy furniture around. With Abby's room re-vamped, the nursery was cleared out.
Midday sun shone in on my blank canvas. I set up my rocking chair, bedside table and lamp in the corner, and began letting myself imagine a scene of nursing two squiggly babies back to sleep. I put blankets, cloth diapers, books and crib sheets in the closet. Come Friday, I hope to know if I'm decorating for boys, girls, or one of each.
I left the nursery at that: empty with a rocking chair, table and already-there bookshelf. I finally felt a little surprised and overwhelmed with what I had just done.
I had begun making concrete plans for these babies. These babies that grow and kick stronger, that have no names, that put me to sleep with a smile on my face. I have told Abby they're coming, and let her hold a friend's newborn baby. I fell in love, felt my heart grow three sizes, watching her gentle manner and awe, stroking a newborn baby's head. I didn't want to let myself see such beauty until I felt confidant I could deliver on my promise to give Abby a sibling.
Now, I am making lists, setting budgets, paring down to necessities and becoming excited to welcome the reality of two little bodies into our family tree.

3 comments:

  1. oh Sarah, there you go again... making me cry once again with your beautiful posts.
    You are so so wonderful and I am so excited for you. I can just picture you pointing your finger at Rich ( and that' what you better do, no heavy lifting!).
    xox

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  2. Ditto!! Sobbing as I write this. So happy for you. - Tara.

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  3. So excited to be posting your guest blogger post today! thanks again! xox

    ReplyDelete

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