Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thrice saddened

A week has passed, and in that time I have had a few chances to reflect quietly on some sad events. I learned that three friends of mine had lost babies. One was quite far along in her pregnancy, one gave birth at 36 weeks to a baby born still, and another lost hers through an adoption arrangement.
Though it wasn't me going through these sad and terrible dark hours, talking with them and learning of their news has saddened me greatly. It has brought back to the surface sadness I have known, and it has left me looking to the sky asking again why do terrible things happen to such good people.
It is a terrible crescendo of elation, excitement, planning and hope, and then terrible loss. The joy of expecting should never be taken away from a woman who wants to mother.
Sometimes I would think to myself in sad moments that perhaps my experiences will tip the statistics and prevent other women from having to endure such loss. It was a small silver lining and it gave me a bit of comfort and strength.
Now, I am trying to balance all of the patience and hope I have restores over these last months and prevent them from crashing down as I find myself doubting divine rule. What cruel fate could dictate such sad stories? I wonder.
But I know my sadness won't help these women in their grief, and it certainly won't change the outcomes.
So I will file these sad occurrences away under, "Don't understand," and offer them out to the wind to be carried away to a place where they may be received and stored for safekeeping.

1 comment:

  1. As many friends have gone through such devastating losses, you included, I have gone through periods of feeling such guilt. How was it that I was so lucky to have two successful pregnancies? I am so thankful, yet wish there were ways I could help.

    I am sorry for your friends. I hope you are able to help them get through their own loss.

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