Friday, January 8, 2010

Hockey gone Zen

I wonder what would happen if zenned-out yogis announces sports.
Rich has had a couple days "off" (still on-call, but at home), and so TSN, TSN2, Sportsnet and a continuous sequence of hockey games have been splayed on our big screen.
"But Abby likes watching hockey, see?" (as she makes fart noises with her mouth and beats the hell out of her farmer doll)
And the journalist in me is made to cringe with the over-use of cliched metaphors and analogies. The calm mama in me yells, "turn it down!" as the over-zealous announces yell EVERYTHING that happens. (For the benefit of the hearing and seeing impaired?) And the creative cat in me wonders what a sports reporter could possibly do to jazz up a re-hashing of a hockey game without making it sound like every hockey game that's come before. There's only so many fight reels and Carrie-Underwoood-in-the-stands shots allowed on TV, I think.
So can you imagine if some Ghandi-looking yogi came to announce hockey, straight from a yoga class, wearing white linen and an ethereal smile?
"The earth smiles upon you, young Bouwmeester, as you successfully embrace the call of your body and obey its breath.
"The Red Wings have scored two points over the Kings, so let us celebrate this goodness and life with a few asanas that will invigorate mind, body and spirit."
Much better, hahaha.


  1. Oh what a "hockey-fan's-wife" fantasy!! If this were to ever come to fruition, i would then agree to sign up for then "all-hockey-all-day" channel and perhaps sit down QUIETLY and actually watch a game...or maybe two..!


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