Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I'm home in Ottawa in a big cocoon of love and comfort. I had planned a surprise trip home back in August, and the universe ensured that in my time of great need, I was passed lovingly from its arms into my own mothers' in a serendipitous turn of perfect timing. She didn't know I was coming home, and had told me over and over on the phone how she ached so badly to be with me, to hug me and to help me. When I walked down the basement stairs in the house I grew up in, baby on my hip, she stared up in disbelief then ran up and hugged us both, crying happy tears.
For this last week I have been coddled, fed, kept warm and snugly. I shared a bed every night with either my mum or my sister (and two rambunctious but cuddly kittens!), and allowed out for some pampering "me recovery" time as needed.
This love and homecoming have been refreshing and cleansing. I am starting to feel like my body has been washed of its trauma through some good yoga, excellent food, long showers, many hugs and some growing respect and appreciation from me. I have made sure to take time to heal, letting the universe know that although my body has caused me great pain, I am still in wonder and awe over what it can do, what comfort and sustenance it provides still for Abby and what fascinating function it continues daily on its own. Marvelous. I got an organic facial last week that made me feel like a new woman. I went for a swim today with family and delighted in watching Abby shriek and smile as big as she could. I have a massage tomorrow with hands from a friend I know will do right in healing me further and helping me be renewed.
I think I am moving towards being ready to turn the page, to acknowledge this dark chapter as an entry in the story of my life. Something transformative and with inherent lessons, but a happening from which I can turn the page nonetheless.
I am glad there is still a cushion of time left for me to enjoy the many blessings of home. I will surely soak it all in and take full advantage of the people, places and gifts around me before Abby and I pack our giant suitcases and make the 5,000+ kilometre journey to Ross River on our own. Yikes!

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